Finding Flow

Posted on Mar 8, 2011 in Knowing Yourself Better

I’ve been staring at my laptop screen for a few minutes now, trying to write the first sentence of this post. There is so much I want to write, but can’t seem to find the right words. What is it about writing that challenges me so much? And perhaps more interestingly, what does it mean when I say I want to become a better writer this year?

I think it was my mom who first told me I can be a writer. That was 7 years ago when I still wrote in Hebrew. I just got to Australia and I was lonely, so for a few months I wrote a series of emails about my life in a new country. Writing was my refuge, my way to rip all the loneliness out of me. The topic was Australia, but underneath all that it was just a way to make sense of the world inside of me.

My second significant attempt with writing was in English. Same as the first time I used writing as a way to share and reflect upon life’s journeys. Whether it be a trip to Los Angeles, my Ironman journey or simply a random Sydney weekend escape, I played with the words of my limited English Vocabulary like a new toy.

And that’s probably why I love writing.

It’s like a toy for me; words move like puzzle pieces in my head, pushing and jostling to find their resting place on an unbounded and limitless board. As I go along, new words join, and the number of puzzle pieces increases, making the game even more fun, and at the same time more challenging.

I’m staring at my laptop screen again. The flow of words stopped at once. I want them to flow but they are silent, not responding. If there is one big thing I want to achieve with my writing goal this year, it’s exactly that. Writing from a place which words just seem to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once.

Flow

The book, “flow”, written by a Psychology Professor during his 25 years of research on happiness, best explains the concept of flow. “The state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter”. It is “what the sailor holding a tight course feels when the wind whips through his hair” and “what a painter feels when the colors on the canvas begin to set up a magnetic tension with each other”.

In flow, we feel a “deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and that becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like.” We become totally absorbed in an activity and it feels effortless and flowing. There is a loss of self consciousness and there is no room for distractions from the outside world.

Imagine yourself lying on an operating table during a surgical procedure while your surgeon’s mind is wandering off. His attention is scattered all over the place, perhaps thinking about a basketball game he has just seen or thinking about a paycheck he has not received. You wouldn’t want to be the one lying on that table, now would you?

Luckily, most surgeons cut themselves off from the external world during surgery and focus all their attention and energy into the present moment. In other words, they are in a state of flow. Which leads to an interesting point; flow is not just a random event, but can be generated voluntarily and for long periods of time.

Finding Flow Consciously

Being focused in the moment, oblivious to our surroundings, becoming completely engrossed in what we do; we’ve all been there at some point during our lives, but what’s interesting to me is how we can get there consciously.

When I look closely at some of my flow moments over the past few years, I can see patterns and common characteristics occurring.

1. Objective – Perhaps the most consistent pattern in the quest of reaching flow is the existence of a clear objective. In every area of our lives, flow is experienced when the heart, desire and mind are all in alignment, when objectives are defined and well formulated.

I always felt like I was going to accomplish something meaningful, even if it wasn’t obvious at first. A few years ago I decided to dedicate a whole year to heavy socializing. Going out 7 nights a week, chatting with complete strangers, hopping from one party to another. On the surface it may seem that all I looked for in life was pleasure, however my underlying and primary motivation was a bit different.

At the time, I was living in Australia on a temporary student visa and I was considering taking a leap and pursuing permanent residency. My English level was fairly average,which made me feel like a visitor when amongst my friends, most of whom were students.. If I was going to stay and adopt Australia as a home, then I was going to have to shift from my “visitor” identity and dramatically improve my English. Socializing catered to all of this brilliantly, and I was in a state of flow pretty much every time I was out.

2. Passion – Whatever we do, if it isn’t done with love and utmost care, we probably won’t give it our full attention. On the other hand, when we’re totally passionate we don’t even know we’re in flow, we’re just there, in the moment, 100%.

One of the surest ways for me to reach flow is also one of my biggest passions – Running. I always have the same enticing feeling before I hit the road, no matter if it’s a cold rainy night or a bright sunny day. A feeling of sheer excitement washes over me, knowing that the rest of my world is about to go away for a short while and re-appear even sharper later.
Once I’m in running motion I feel the nirvana of being one with my surroundings and the trail itself. I often surrender myself to the sensations of tiredness and pain and embrace whatever comes up. Some of my most joy filled moments are experienced during these runs.

3. Challenge – When we choose an activity that is too easy we usually get bored and eventually give up. In the same way, if it’s too hard, we often get frustrated and eventually give up. Either way we give up on something of paramount importance to us. The more we situate ourselves between these two extremes to ensure we set just the right amount of challenge, the more flow we’ll experience in our life.

I currently put that into practice with my surfing. In the past, I was out there trying to ride big waves, exhausting myself within the first moment. The challenge was too great and I indeed gave up on my surfing crusade. Nowadays I look for beaches with relatively small waves, which are challenging enough for me to want to be there consistently.

Do I get to experience flow every time I try to catch a small wave? The answer is no, but occassionaly it does happen, and I know that with a bit more skill, surfing will be one of the best gifts I could have wished for, which brings me to the next point.

4. Skillfulness – Without holding the proper skills, we are unlikely to extract the maximum enjoyment out of what we do, and may end up losing interest along the way.
This is usually where willpower comes in and keeps us going after the initial “motivation” has died.

However, willpower is a scarce resource and determination alone might not be enough in our journey to acquire a certain degree of competence. It is through the practice of daily rituals and habits of behavior that we’re able to consistently work towards self-mastery.
As with every big goal I’ve ever set before myself, immersion and instilled habits were the key. I’ve put myself out there, even when I was not comfortable, and my skills were soon well developed enough to be able to attain my dreams.

5. Beliefs- Our belief structure is like the operating system of our mind. I believe it guides every action and reaction that we have, and also dictates the actions we do not take.

We have all adopted beliefs throughout our journey through life, gathering information through personal experiences and absorbing ideas from other people. Some of these beliefs do not serve us in the long run and in fact limit us from expressing our highest potential.

Throughout my life I had to banish limiting beliefs about my self and my abilities to make things happen. What I learnt is that we can choose new beliefs about ourselves almost immediately, without even the evidence or the relevant reference experience, something I choose to do with my writing.

Reflecting

The reasons for not reaching flow in my writing are now becoming apparent. These include: confusion over my purpose in writing, insufficient vocabulary skills, disguised perfectionism, and a few limiting beliefs. The end product is quite satisfactory but it comes with sweat and great effort. This one post for example took me a few days to complete. I had to stop and restart occasionally using thoughts of willpower and discipline to fuel my writing resolution.

Knowing the reasons makes a difference though. The self reflection exhibited in this post is often all we need to propel us to action. I’ve already formed new habits around vocabulary and cleared up some limiting beliefs during the process. More than anything, I know that flow will come, if not this year, then the next, or whenever. The desire, passion and all the right reasons are there to make it happen.

Live your dreams!